How to feel safe in your body: experience over logic
Greetings,
As I re-enter the United States after a longer stay in Europe, I’m noticing something: a sense of tension in the air. Not good or bad. Just present. And it made me reflect on safety.
How do we feel safe in the world, in our communities, in our families, in our own bodies?
And what does awareness actually have to do with that? Here’s the thing:
Insight lives in the mind. Identity lives in the body.
We often assume change happens when we understand ourselves better. When we finally connect the dots. When something clicks. Truth is: insight alone doesn’t rewire us.
Insight lives in the mind. Identity lives in the body.Your body doesn’t change because it understands something. It changes because it experiences safety, consistency, over time. That’s why you can know where a pattern came from and still feel stuck. The nervous system doesn’t respond to logic; it responds to experience.
The body learns through safety, not force. If your body has learned to brace, to shut down, to stay alert, it’s not because it’s broken. It’s because at some point that strategy helped you survive. Trying to push past these pattern (resisting) often makes them stronger. The body doesn’t soften when it’s pressured, it softens when it feels safe enough to let go.
Safety isn’t dramatic. It’s subtle. It might look like:
a breath that deepens without trying
shoulders lowering a little
moments of calm that don’t immediately disappear
The small experiences are how the body updates its beliefs. Safety isn’t a single moment. It’s a pattern. One day my brother came home from work and said “I noticed I’m not feeling stressed or holding my breath any more.” I knew he was on the mend…After the loss of his wife, his body was beginning to let go. A new internal reality was forming.
Safety is built through:
Consistency: gentle routines, predictable rhythms, showing up for yourself regularly
Regulation before reflection: calming the body before trying to analyze or fix
Noticing safety when it appears: pausing and registering the moments when nothing is wrong
Safe connection: being heard, respected, and allowed to be real
Kind internal language: replacing self-pressure or criticism with curiosity and patience
None of this is about perfection. It’s about repetition. You don’t heal by convincing yourself you’re safe. You heal by experiencing safety so often that your body stops expecting danger. When the body changes, identity follows. Not because you forced it. But because finally, it didn’t have to protect itself anymore.
Here’s to Powerful, Positive Change…Cheers!
Adela