When your Inner Critic Hijacks Your Joyful Moments: A lesson in Self- Awareness
Before getting hijacked by my Inner Critic…
Question for you: Have you ever been hijacked by your Inner Critic?
Have you ever felt your inner critic/ perfectionist take over before you even realize what was happening? The other night, I went to a “Sip and Create” event… and I threw away my painting.
Here’s the story: The instructors offered us two options: follow a guided, step-by-step print or free flow on your own.
My usual style is to free flow, but I decided to try something different. I chose a more detailed painting. Ambitious but doable.
As we began, I quickly became aware of my inner critic:
“This doesn’t look right.”
“I’m not good at this.”
“I can’t mix the right colors.”
“Why did I even choose this one?”
Meanwhile, the people around me seemed relaxed and joyful. Their paintings looked lovely. I started to compare. And I started to feel overwhelmed.
Very quickly, it stopped being about painting. It became about what was happening in my nervous system—a dance between freedom and structure, vulnerability and self-protection, expression and perfectionism.
“It’s just a painting,” I told myself.
“Relax. Have fun.”
But my inner perfectionist was already in charge.
I felt flustered. Messy. Uncomfortable.
By the end of the two-hour session, my painting was only half done…and I wasn’t happy with it. My ego was bruised.
So I tossed it in the trash, muttering something about not having space in my luggage.
But the truth is, I didn’t want to look at it. I didn’t have a strong enough Adult with a capital A—my inner Wise One—to override the critic who demanded perfection. So, I’m doing some repair work now. Reconnecting with the part of me that felt disappointed, like I messed up, like I failed. (That’s the real masterpiece.)
Can you relate? I would love to hear from you.
So here’s a few things I’m journaling about this week:
Our deepest patterns don’t just show up in crisis. They show up in the small stuff too. How can I stay present and notice when frustration kicks in?
Self- awareness means noticing your inner landscape without spiraling into shame. When do I shut down or check out instead of staying present?
Self-awareness gives us the space to respond, not just react. What would it look like to meet my patterns with curiosity instead of judgment?
The Wise Adult isn’t louder than the critic, but they are steadier. What helps me strengthen the voice of the Adult when I’m in a moment of self-attack?
Even small, seemingly silly moments can become powerful mirrors for deeper patterns, if we pay attention. This is self-awareness. That’s the inner work.
To Powerful, Positive Change…Cheers!
Adela